I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Pooping to opera.
Randomize