apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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