Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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