Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
