Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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