im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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