upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
