oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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