The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
