the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
