At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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