o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
