He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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