Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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