Cold hands, warm shart.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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