dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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