You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize