No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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