You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
