I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
