Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
