I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
