Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
a search helicopter?!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
