I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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