keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
