she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
