Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
