Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
