ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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