What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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