she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
