Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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