VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
