he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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