Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
