There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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