But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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