well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
