the only muscles i have these days is kegels
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
