sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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