I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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