So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
