Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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