Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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