Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
