I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You made out with two different species that night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
