I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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