Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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