i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
