ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
