Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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