I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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