I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize