Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
