IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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