I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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