very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
